what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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