She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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