How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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