Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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