i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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