Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize