i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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