In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wanna go halves on a baby?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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