i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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