i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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