I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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