my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize