Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
