Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You can't special order awesome
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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