first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize