apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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