so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My vagina just recognized that song.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize