New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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