I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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