u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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