In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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