Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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