It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
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So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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