this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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