i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I forget how to act sober
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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