What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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