The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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