Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
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