I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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