guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize