Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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