3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize