now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize