Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you never un-have a 4some
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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