if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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