summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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