you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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