Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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