ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize