He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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