you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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