Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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