he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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