If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize