Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you win again, gameday.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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