just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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