I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize