Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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