dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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