ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize