Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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